“we collected some shotguns and mowed down the entire racist-geek squad”

I dreamed last night that Dr. Dre and I became friends at a BBQ, and he invited me to hang with him for a couple of weeks.

We ended up jetting to some technology convention in Cali. I felt like I was on Entourage, it was awesome. On our way their, he joked that he was going to tell the gate worker that I was his son, so we could get in at family prices. I told him that they would likely make him take a paternity test at the door, and we laughed.

It was cool for a while, but then as it turned out, everyone working the convention was a racist, and had bad teeth (Mountain Dew mouth, no doubt). Someone pulled a gun on us, and all of the sudden the entire place pulled guns from under their tables. Of course, Dre was packing a 9mm, and after killing a few we collected some shotguns and mowed down the entire racist-geek squad. Steve Jobs escaped, because his iPad had an app that created an electro-magnetic field around the user, and apparently reflected bullets.

Moral of the story – don’t watch Training Day before bed.

Seatbelts.

Merry Christmas, I’m bored

It’s that time of year again. The time when I get to relax, spend some time with family and friends, and most importantly, not have to lose sleep for grades, or deal with nightmare group members. Yes, it’s Christmas, or x-mas as I like to call it.

I finished exams almost a week ago. I’m already bored. There are only so many video games you can play, movies you can watch, and books you can read before you get tired of looking at a screen or page. Don’t get me wrong, I love having time off, but I really want to do something. It’s too cold to go outside, and even if I get bundled up, there’s nothing to do out there.

The hockey rink is being renovated in Elbow. What a good time to do such a thing. All summer, it was dormant, and unused. Thanks village, good choice.

You know what else is a good idea? Booking a dentist appointment during the holidays. That way, the dentist can comment on how much turkey is stuck between my teeth. I bet the dentist will have two recommendations for me: a.) Floss more B.) Stop grinding my teeth (not done consciously). Some things don’t change.

Other than that, things are pretty good. Next semester should be fun, and indoor soccer starts shortly.

I hope to make a trip to Saskatoon and Regina soon, and I hope to see you all! Merry x-mas, and happy New Years.

Seatbelts.

Listen to Earth Crisis

Have you ever had one of those days where you couldn’t pay attention to anything for more than 5 minutes? For the last few days, this has been my dilemma. It’s gotten progressively worse every day since Wednesday, when I wrote my last midterm. I’ve tried studying with music, without music, in my room, on the couch, at the library, in the reading room, in a classroom, on my bed, by myself, and in a group. I always start out with good intentions, but somehow within 10 – 15 minutes I find myself contemplating the sum of my existence, or exploring my artistic talents drawing on the walls in the library…

Random thought – one time in my first year, I wrote “Listen to Earth Crisis” on the desk in my Bio 110 class. Awesome.

…It’s frustrating. I guess on the plus side, I’ve gotten pretty good at drawing boobs. Just kidding! … 1/2 kidding.

A couple weeks ago someone keyed my car door while it was parked right in front of my house. These damn kids are so lazy these days. Back in my day, when you keyed a car, you also slashed the tires, and smashed the windows. The damage to my car is so insignificant that it isn’t even worth claiming! It’s just enough to annoy me. Like a mosquito that keeps flying past your ear when your sleeping – you want to get up and smash it, but it’s not worth leaving your warm bed.

Seatbelts.

 

Sketchy

So, I find myself going on walks at night. Sometimes long walks. I haven’t been going to the gym this summer, so it’s a good way to get a little exercise. Besides, I like seeing the city at night. The sights, sounds, smells and the people you meet! It’s astonishing. You don’t get that experience during the day. People are busy; at night they’re more relaxed – they smile, make eye contact, it’s like a weight has been lifted off their chest. You can see it, you can feel it and it’s refreshing.

Last night I went for a walk, all the way downtown. I was listening to my ipod, when I felt as if someone was following me. I turned around, and sure enough there was someone their in the shadows. He was a lot closer than I had expected, and it kind of startled me. POW! I kicked him in the shin, followed by a spinning back-fist to the head.. Ok, that didn’t actually happen, but the thought crossed my mind when I saw how close he was. I mean, he was close! I have a bubble. He turned out to be harmless – just wanted to sell me 38 cokes.

No dude, why do you have 38 cokes?

He was vague with the details, but I gathered that he was at a party, and stole the cokes on his way out. He wanted to sell them, but who wants to buy cokes out of a sketchy dudes backpack at 11:00 p.m? Who wants to buy 38 cokes? He said he wished it was beer, because it would be easier to sell to kids. I guess I’ll take his word for it, he looks like he’s done this kind of thing before.

When I got home last night, I noticed a rock in our front yard had been removed, and replaced slightly askew. I’ve been watching Mantracker, so I’ve become quite the expert at noticing these types of things. I thought nothing of it at the time, however, tonight I took a closer look, and realized that several of the larger stones in our front yard have been turned, and replaced. The only rational explanation for this is that someone is trying to find a key to the house. It’s quite common for people to keep a spare key hidden in their yard. Fortunately for my roommates and I, this isn’t the case, and the lock on our door is difficult enough to unlock when you do have the key.

I might leave a little note underneath one of the rocks for these people, explaining that there is no hidden key. I wonder why they don’t just throw the rock through the window?

Seatbelts.

Hustlaz Ambition

Sometimes I wonder if I keep busy just to distract myself from the things that are painfully absent in my life. Like the void of a woman, or the fact that I have no real food in the refrigerator.

I took up a summer class that’s been keeping me thinking, shaking and moving for the last 4 weeks. I just wrote the first midterm – got an 85%, the fourth highest grade in the class. I’m pretty sure I could have gotten a better grade had my writing been more legible, but that’s the breaks. I write the second midterm in 3 days, and the final exam is a few days after that. Studying is cool, because it gives me an excuse to drink copious amounts of coffee, and eat at Alexanders.

People often ask me if I feel smarter since I began university. I don’t necessarily feel smarter, I think intelligence is largely a man made construct. I mean, just look at the dumb blonde who got a higher calculous score than you, or the science nerd who can’t string together a sentence. I.Q. is what you make of it. No, I don’t feel smarter. I have however learned a lot, about a lot. There’s so much out their to know, I guess I feel as if I have opened an eye to the world. Perhaps this is just another distraction?

Distraction or not, I am legitimately excited for class to start in the fall – to keep learning, and developing my sight. I might not be the best yet, but as they say; in the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king.

Seatbelts.

Michael Jackson faked his death

I’ve been up for so long, I want to go to bed. Today was registration day for school. At 6:30 am, the registration tab opened, and as always it was a gongshow – not as much of a gongshow as previous years though, which I am grateful for. I must have been really excited to register, since I woke up at 4:00, and then subsequently every 30 minutes until 6:00 am. Ding. I really just needed to type in the numbers of the classes I am taking, and click ‘submit’, but the thing about technology is it usually sucks. Last year one of the servers melted to the ground during registration. Epic fail, and a pain in my ass. 

Speaking of ass pain, the king of pop Michael Jackson allegedly died today (zing!). At work, in front of the Wildlife building, the flag was at half mass. I wonder if it was for M.J.? The first thing I thought of when I heard this, is that this has to be fake. I mean if you were crazy, rich, and didn’t want anyone to ever bother you again, why wouldn’t you fake your death? If I could think of anyone on the planet who might fake their death, it would be him. A heart attack at age 50? C’mon.

Just wait, you’ll see. M.J. will be moon-walking on TMZ from beyond the grave before you know it. You heard it here first.

Seatbelts. 

N.Dakota trippin’!

Just got back from the North Dakota bike trip. It was a pretty incredible experience. Despite the horrendous weather, I really had a good time. Friday after work, I headed home to my parents place to pick up my passport, and my U.S. currency. From their, I went to Regina. On my way, three moose charged out from the ditch, and I was forced to stop for them. I didn’t even have time to gear down, I just squeezed the clutch, and hit the brakes! I ended up stopping about 12 feet in front them as they crossed the road. And thus began my trip. 

Saturday morning we left from Regina. It was cold, I mean really cold.. I’m glad Tim got me some rain gear from his work, because by the time we got to the border it was raining cats and dogs, and it didn’t let up. 4 degrees Celsius feels like -35 when the air is hitting you at 120 km/hour. Did I mention it was wet? It was wet. I don’t have riding boots, so I wore my dunk low’s, which were soaked so much that when I stepped down water would come out of my shoes like I was stepping on a sponge. We stopped through one of the towns in Montana on the way for gas, and noticed a place called the “K K Korral”. Yikes. I wish I had a picture of that. That night we rolled into some Indian reservation campground. The rain subsided, and we searched the campground for some wood to burn. The fire was excellent, and I slept as close to it as i could to stay warm through the night. 

 

The Crew

Sunday morning we went to the casino, and got all you can eat breakfast. It hit the spot. Soon after breakfast it began raining again. We decided to take the quickest route home, since everyone was exhausted and cold. 

By the time we got back to Regina, I really didn’t feel like riding another 3 hours back to Saskatoon, so I stayed the night. I called in sick to work on Monday, which wasn’t entirely a lie. I mean, I was so tired I would have been totally useless at work anyways. All in all it was a great experience. I think everyone had a good time, and no one wimped out. I can’t wait for next years N.Dakota trip.

Seatbelts.

Skateboards, motorcycles, and summer time

Today was the first day this year that felt like summer. To me, summer is more than the weather. Granted, the weather has been shady prior to this weekend.. It rained today. That fresh smell in the air was so refreshing. You don’t get that smell when it snows. On Friday I picked up my motorcycle license, and went home Saturday to get my bike. Riding back to Saskatoon today in the rain was cold, but I was so eager to get back on the bike that I didn’t mind. By 9:00, the pavement was dry, and I decided to go for a skate. I haven’t skated in awhile, but it didn’t take too long for my skateboarding legs to come back. I can’t describe the feeling. The night was perfect.

Seatbelts.

It’s been a while, how have you been?

Good? Good. The house is awesome, and now we have internet in it, as you could probably guess, as I had to have been on the monsterweb to publish this. I’ve been to Fuddruckers twice since I moved here. I would have thought it to be much more by now, but I’m pacing myself. I’ve been BBQing almost every day, and it’s awesome.

The weather here has not been good. It snowed  at work all day on Wednesday last week! Rediculous. We got sent home early from work because there was too much snow on the ground. It was cold, so everyone was stoked. On Friday myself and another guy were assigned to work an area on campus. Being assigned to an area means we are in charge of that space all year. Our area is pretty sweet. It’s out of the way, so we aren’t being constantly monitored by the public. Apparently it’s not uncommon for people to call management about grounds people not working when they’re on coffee breaks, so being stationed out of the way minimizes this. The people here are pretty cool. I’m sure I’ll have more stories to write about work in the future.

Death By Stereo is playing a show here tonight, it should be a good time. Also, apparently there’s a Hells Angels convention in Elbow this weekend. Some guy rode his bike off a cliff near where I used to work. Ouch!

Seatbelts.

CHECK, CHECK, CHECK!

Grave Maker played Saskatoon last Wednesday, and it was awesome. At least that’s what I heard. I was unable to attend, as I had a final exam that night. I figured I could finish my exam early, and head straight to the venue to catch their set. I got their by about 10:00, to find that the show was over! I couldn’t believe I had missed it. Dang.

Other than that, things are starting to come correct. My friends – Todd, Jeremy, and I have been looking for a place to live this summer. It’s been tough finding a place that’s half decent, but we finally found one, and closed the deal this past week. It’s pretty nice to not have to worry about being homeless. The best part about this place is that it’s a 65 second walk from Fuddruckers. You’re jealous. Nic’s jealous. There’s likely going to be sweet BBQ’s every week, and you’re invited. I also got a phone call yesterday about a job I applied for. I have an interview on Monday, and I’m a little nervous as I haven’t had one of these in like 3 years. It’s the highest paying job I applied for, working on campus, so it would be great if that worked out for me.

I’m so amped for summer. Only two more exams stand in my way! Wish me luck.

Seatbelts.